You can do whatever you want. What people are telling you is that, as bad as things are, a wrong move now could make a bad situation that much worse. You could just say it's over and walk, but at some point it's likely that the secret you've been hiding will come to light, and then your boyfriend is going to be crushed...and then angry. He will be crushed and angry even if you tell him -- that's not necessarily the point people are trying to make. I think what people are saying is that, if you really in your heart of heart value a relationship of any kind with your true boyfriend, and if you care about giving your boyfriend the truth so that he can make his own decisions about what is best for him and his own future, and that if you really want to take responsibility for your behavior...if you really care about all of this...you will choose the course of action which will ensure that this can happen, irrespective of how he reacts when you tell him. It's a risk you're taking, but let's face it: you've already been pretty brazen. A lot of people here think that telling the truth is the ethical choice in this situation. I think that's what some people are trying to tell you.
the facts in our heads and not enough time
Men who are prone to this do sometimes start doing it less often or for shorter periods if the woman can learn how to manage her own emotions. I don't really recommend staying with a man who continues to do this after you've expressed your concerns. If he truly cares enough for you, he will make an attempt to do better at least. If he doesn't, you'll need to consider moving on. A man who does this after he has a family and children, will be "absent" now and again when his family may need him. And, you would have to consider how it affects the children as well.
I'm KiKi, 21 years old, from Chicago, IL, living in Indianapolis, & I love The Beatles, Pink Floyd, music festivals, & mixed drink.
I probably don't get it because it wouldn't bother me. I'm not a jealous person at all. If I start to question who a partner is friends with, or sees in a larger friendship group, my problem lies with me not trusting them, not with this other person. If I can't trust them with someone they've tried with and it didn't work with, how could I trust them with a stranger? At that point, why bother being with them if you don't trust them? This also veers a little too much into controlling territory for me.
Easy there trigger
Everything looks great. 1,3,2
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